


You'll Learn to Hate Me

by Darling in Devildom (kylobenrensolo)



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angry Sex, Angst, GN!MC, Gen, Gender Neutral, Implied Sexual Content, Loss of Control, Mention and Description of Anxiety Attacks, No Happy Ending Fest, Self-Indulgent, Welcome to Angstober, mentions of physical violence, rough consensual sex, satan x reader, they/them pronouns, very light though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:21:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26836618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylobenrensolo/pseuds/Darling%20in%20Devildom
Summary: "Humans weren’t meant to be damned. At least, the alive ones weren’t. You may have made it feel like Heaven, but sin flowed freely in the Devildom. Did they expect you to be rewarded for falling in love with the devil?"Angstober: A Song Fic with Satan ("Never Think" by Robert Pattinson)
Relationships: Main Character & Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character/Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 54





	You'll Learn to Hate Me

It started out with little things. An annoyed expression. An eye roll. A sarcastic comment. Usual jesting, everyone thought. Or, at the very least, stress due to upcoming assignments and tests. Something that would fade and they would see a familiar smile and hear a familiar laugh once more. 

He brushed his fingertips against your forehead, brushing a piece of hair back with his motions. He began to hum softly; whether it was for his own comfort or yours, he didn’t know. 

_ I should never think _

_ What's in your heart _

_ What's in our home _

_ So I won't _

You were quiet. Unmoving. Peaceful. Serene. One of the few moments of total clarity. But still, Satan never found a tensionless moment. 

** ☽ ━━━━━ ☾ **

“‘Ey! Hands off! Don’t be gettin’ so close!” Mammon cried out, watching Satan scoot closer on the couch to you during movie night. You and Satan both ignored him at first, but he could see your fingers rhythmically tapping on the leather of the couch and your jaw clench. He placed a reassuring arm around your shoulder when Mammon protested again. “Alright! Enough of tha-”

“MAMMON. I’M TIRED OF THIS TSUNDERE ACT YOU’VE GOT GOING ON. WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY?” 

The entire room went silent. Lucifer hit pause on the movie to redirect his attention to the new scene playing before him in the room. You had seldom ever raised your voice at any of the brothers unless it was with caring frustration. Mammon looked like he had been kicked right in the chest the way his eyes instantly welled up and he scurried out of the room. Everyone except Satan watched him flee. His eyes were set on yours. There was a spark of something in them. Something familiar. Something dark. When your eyes met his concerned ones, you stood on shaky legs, retreating from the room as well. 

His gaze moved around the room to then meet each of his brothers’, all mixed with worry, confusion, and, some, slight amusement. He exited the room not long after you, following the sound of your heavy footsteps as you raced to your room. He knocked against the wood gently, hoping to coax you to open the door. He could hear shuffling, the sounds of pacing steps, and light whispering. He tried the knob. To his surprise, it opened with ease. 

Your eyes were closed and you moved back and forth between your bed and the dresser on the opposite side of the room, muttering something under your breath. Satan’s steps were light as he made his way into the space, attempting not to scare you out of your thoughts. He knew how important moments of self-reflection after outbursts were. He dealt with them daily. Fortunately for you, himself, and his brothers, he could usually have them beforehand and prevent the explosive behavior altogether. He leaned on the purple wall by your bed, crossing his arms over his chest and observing your actions. He was able to make out a few words here and there. 

“Why…. that… he… wrong... “

After a few minutes had passed and you made no progress, he decided to help bring you out of the vast panic your mind was creating. He, again, approached slowly, stepping in front of your movements and placing steady hands on your shoulders. Your eyes snapped open to give him a broken, worried look. 

“Satan… why did I do that? He did nothing wrong.”

Tears finally escaped from the corners of your eyes as Satan moved his hands from your shoulders to your back, holding you a tight, reassuring hug. You were there for every ugly day, every bad mood, every overwhelming feeling. You knew how to bring him back each and every time. The comfort he could provide to you now was only a small fraction of everything you had done for him. And he was happy to give it. He just didn’t know this was only the beginning.

** ☽ ━━━━━ ☾ **

His hand moved down to your arm, feeling the soft vastness of your skin. It made slow, dragging motions, savoring and drinking in the warmth of your body. There was a time just the slightest of contact brought you back to him. He would whisper confessions of love and adoration and safety in your ear and the light would return to your shared otherwise bleak surroundings. You were the sun on his skin during a perfect beach day and he soaked in every calculated affirmation. 

Ever since that day though, it had been high tide. The crashing waves brought devastation not only into all their lives but into his open, accepting heart. The saltwater taste made it hard to breathe. But… 

_ You'll learn to hate me _

_ But still, call me baby _

_ Oh, love _

_ So call me by my name _

it wasn’t your fault. No. It was his.

** ☽ ━━━━━ ☾ **

Mammon bounced back after the incident. He always did. But, he was more hesitant with you. You could see the look of jealousy in his eyes when someone spent too much time with you or hugged you for a fraction of a second longer than usual. He would open his mouth to protest but quickly clamped it shut and moved on. In the beginning, it was painful to watch, but as days passed, there was a fire burning in the center of your being. Hopes of fanning it out and away only made it grow bigger. Your own frustration with the situation was an added gasoline tank on top.

Satan noticed your short fuse with, eventually, everyone. You snapped at Lucifer’s concerns regarding your safety. You rage quit when Levi beat you in a video game. Your eyes shot daggers at Beel when he took the last helping of your favorite breakfast food. You yelled at Belphie for falling asleep during one of your study sessions. Everyone walked like the floor was covered in broken glass and Satan tried to pick up the pieces. He would reassure his brothers that you were fine and this was only temporary. But he knew those looks. In the early days after his creation, they gave him the same ones. Conflicted between care and fear. Then, he would find his way to your room. Slowly, your panicked state turned into one of indifference then lingering anger. He had a handle on it though. He could protect you. And he could protect them… until he couldn’t.

** ☽ ━━━━━ ☾ **

His eyes followed your curves, movements matching your resting breaths. He used to know every inch of you like it was his own. He knew just the way to elicit those soft mewls from your lips. He knew which spot on your neck would place your hand in his hair, pulling him closer. He knew you liked to go slow, feeling and memorizing every touch. You wanted his fingers to lace in yours. Staring into his emerald eyes felt like the calm in a perfect storm, you would say. The moments you allowed him in now were in anger, fear, and lust. Burning touches, begging for relief, usually ending with sobs of release.

_ And save your soul _

_ Save your soul _

_ Before you're too far gone _

_ Before nothing can be done _

He couldn’t figure it out at first. How everything came apart at the seams so quickly. Humans weren’t meant to be damned. At least, the alive ones weren’t. You may have made it feel like Heaven, but sin flowed freely in the Devildom. It eats away, it seeks. You chose him to love. But wrath knows nothing of love. It was only a matter of time. They all wondered when they’d corrupt your soul enough for it to turn black like their own. Did they expect you to be rewarded for falling in love with the devil? Maybe… just maybe… they could save you. He could save you.

_ I'll try to decide when _

_ She'll lie in the end _

_ I ain't got no fight in me _

_ In this whole damn world _

_ Tell you to hold off _

_ You choose to hold on _

_ It's the one thing that I've known _

** ☽ ━━━━━ ☾ **

You smacked Asmo. Your first physical outburst towards someone else. Besides the scratches and love bites you left on Satan’s once unblemished skin in moments of rageful passion. Asmo was trying to convince you to hang out with him, a spa day or something. But, he was passive-aggressive. He called you out on being snappy with everyone, saying you just needed to relax. He didn’t realize how close you were to snapping. Just how much you had held back. It was the first time Satan had seen you cry since the incident with Mammon. 

“I don’t know what’s happening to me, Satan. I can’t control it. It controls me. I’ve hurt so many people I love. Why is this happening? Please. Help me make it stop. I can’t do this anymore.” 

At this point, he knew. How could he not? There were warnings of this. The exchange program had been a year originally for a reason. Satan wasn’t meant for your world and you not for his. He held you while you cried. He hurt for you. But, his thoughts were also selfish. Why him? Was this punishment? Punishment for denying his sins? Punishment for choosing to love? His chest grew heavy with the same feeling you carried in your heart now. But he willfully pushed it down. There’d be time for that. Right now, he had to fix this.

** ☽ ━━━━━ ☾ **

He leaned in, making it halfway to your lips before you stirred. He froze and held himself and his breath as still as possible. He sealed his eyes shut and bit down on the inside of his lip, begging to keep the peace and not make this any harder than it already was. Soon, you were calm again. He unclenched his jaw and aching muscles and stared at your lips. It was too risky to try again. If you awoke, he might never let go. 

_ Once I put my coat on _

_ I'm coming out in this all wrong _

_ She's standing outside holding me _

_ Saying, 'Oh, please _

_ I'm in love _

_ I'm in love' _

** ☽ ━━━━━ ☾ **

If any of the brothers said this decision was easy, they were lying. Trying to save their hearts the devastation of believing anything different. But, they all knew. They could feel it. Demons have a special way of feeling purity. Usually, it’s to make it easier to consume or destroy it. Yours made them better. It gave them hope on their darkest days. It gave them strength when they felt weak. The tension in the house wasn’t due to just your shortened patience. Until this point, the weakening grace of the house was an unspoken secret. And it was slowly making all of them unstable. Even if you were well rounded, this was no place for you to call home. 

He waited until you fell sound asleep in his arms. It was the easiest way. Every minute was unpredictable and he was scared. He wasn’t scared of you, though. His own handling of wrath was wavering and if he ever hurt you, intentional or not, that would be the final straw. He’d lose everything to the darkest parts of himself. His only saving grace now was that he knew you’d be safe. Diavolo granted him permission through and provided him with the information he needed. This was not the way he expected to see your human realm home for the first time. 

It was unfamiliar, yet he felt at home. He couldn’t describe it, but every item felt like you. Like your presence. At least, your presence before. He eased both of you into what he assumed was your bed and prepared himself to say the words he hoped wouldn’t come for at least a couple of decades. 

** ☽ ━━━━━ ☾ **

_ Girl save your soul _

_ Go on save your soul _

_ Before you're too far gone _

_ Before nothing can be done _

His motions were calculated as he threw his legs over the edge of your bed. His elbows leaned on his knees and his head was in his hands, doing everything in his power to keep a choked sob back. Once he felt confident enough in swallowing the lump in his throat back, he rose to his feet and reached for the door handle. No looking back. He couldn’t. The door clicked behind him as he found himself on the cold street in front of your house, hugged his coat tighter to his body, and began walking back to the realm portal. 

_ 'Cause without me _

_ You got it all _

_ So hold on _

_ Without me, you got it all _

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a little bit different than other fics I've written. This was a very self-indulgent piece and a way for me to get my own feelings off my chest. I hope this resonates with some of my audience and that you all enjoy it in general. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. 
> 
> If you'd like updates on future fics and possible giveaways soon, follow me on twitter @devildomdarling


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